Thursday, January 22, 2009

Mouth off to me, Baby

dentist miniature shadowbox
dentinst miniature shadowbox - the miniature

In April of 2008, I went to the dentist. I had cavities. Cavities that I could see with my eyes and touch with my fingers. I have no dental training.

I don't mind dentists, in fact, when I was 2.5 years old, my dentist, a lovely Polynesian man in Hawaii (his dental room had a bay window with tropical flowers/frogs/fountains...) was working on my teeth. I earlier had a bloody battle with my face on a hot cement floor, which earned me the nickname "Chip" until I lost my baby tooth. I was rather fond of my chip. I looked at my dentist and said "You are my friend."

He cried, just a little bit of manly tears, since children are not usually so happy to see dentists.

When I was about 6-8, I had a retainer that blew up in my mouth, wires everywhere, cutting deep into the sides and roof of my mouth. A plumber/electrician/handyman who was working on our house threw my dad a yucky wrench, rinsed it off, and held it in my mouth to keep the wires from stabbing me the entire drive to the ER. It was bloody, painful and I still have scars. I still loved my new dentist.

gold tooth fairy pillow teeth jewelry plush kitsch
1. black bow and tooth necklace - the pudding store
2. sterling tooth and pearl necklace - its beautiful
3. gold tooth necklace - brookadelphia
4. rosy tooth tunic - unelephant rose
5. rotten tooth ring - keitosan
6. silver modern tooth necklace - missy industry
7. tooth fairy pillow - amy jo's handmade
8. happy kawaii teeth charms - komodokat
9. teeth key rings - majesty inc

This time, I did not love my dentist. The anti-dentite. It was our first meeting, I had a painful sore next to my cavity and was terrified I had some sort of fatal infection from the cavity. It was an ulcer it turns out, it went away the next day all on it's own without any meds.

When I asked my dentist about my two (very very visible but not yet totally painful cavities), he told me that I didn't have any. Perplexed, I said...

"Than what are those?" (I pointed at the two indented, blackish spots) -me
"Oh, those are just little spots, not cavities. Do you brush your teeth?" -dentist
"Yes, I brush my teeth." -me
"People your age who brush don't get cavities." -dentist
"That's funny, because I just had 4 cavities filled last year." -me
"Women like you don't get cavities." -dentist
We argued a bit. He denied me care. I left, and paid $90.

sage pottery toothbrush holder
toothbrush holder - mossy rock pottery (Read my comments to hear David of Mossy Rock's terrifying dentist story!)

6 months later, my cavities have turned into very painful cavities. I could no longer dine on Oreos. Eating sweets became a chore that I bore with a burden. I go to a NEW dentist. She fills my cavities (the EXACT two I already had concerns about). Another $128 dollars. I am fixed. I am upset at the $90 wasted on a false diagnoses by a misogynist dentist.

But, oh happy day, I can eat CAKE!

cherry blossom cake boutiqe cake stands black pink

Which is a good thing, b/c this weekend I am doing a robot party for Isaac, who will be turning 3! I googled robot cake ideas and found this blog segment by Seedpod, who also happens to have an Etsy shop. It is perfect, since we are also planning on doing a little robot costume craft, and maybe even a pin the ___ on the robot... what should we pin? A heart, arm, nose.... any suggestions?

Speaking of noses... I was down that my nose was looking a little big in some photos. My hubby pulled out the tape measure to show me that his nose, was in fact, bigger, and nubbier. I felt better.

ps... look, I made a photo mosaic! You can do it too and create lots of other photo type goodies at Big Huge Labs.

pss... stay tuned, I have a giveaway coming...


Aloquin said...

LOL, your husband seems like a fantastic guy. Good for you both! As far as the pin the ______ on the robot... if you WANT, you could make a computer chip. Nothing fancy, but it might be cooler than a 'heart' for lil' boys. Just a suggestion! I just saw Wall-E, so I'm still thinking along those lines. :)

Little Lovables said...

Hey, that is an excellent idea! I made red noses, but I think the ship would look more robot-y.

Little Lovables said...

This note is from Mossy Rock Pottery's dentist experience:

"I was scared of the dentist as a kid, most kids are.
But most kids didn't have my dentist...

I was just 5 years old when my mom took me to the dentist.
He asked her to leave me there and return in an hour.
Then he strapped me to the chair, propped my jaw open and installed various clamps and a rubber dam. I was very scared and when I would scream in fear, he would poke me in the back of the throat to gag me. This went on for some time.

When he noticed me turning blue... he realized that one of his clamps was missing.
He counted the clamps and sure enough, I had one down my throat. (hello, screaming for a reason here!)

He put me in his wife's lap in their orange Volkswagen station wagen and sped down the drive. When he reached the intersection and tried to negotiate the corner, his car skidded off the road and crashed into a fence.

Lucky for me, his next victem... uh, patient was just about to arrive and we hitched a ride to the hospital.

I was stablized and they waited for my parents to arrive. Then they strapped me to another board, loaded me into an ambulance to take me to another hospital, and I screamed and cried the entire way there. (I just wanted my mom, who was in the front, but they wouldn't let her ride with me in the back - hello, screaming for a reason.)

They contemplated cutting my chest open, but xrays showed that the clamp had lodged high enough to reach down my throat with a set of forceps. Luckily for me.
Then they cut all my clothes off, including my skivies! I cried and screamed about that too. (clamp in the throat, hello? I need those!)

After, they had a nurse carry me in one of those horrid hospital gowns that, even though I was a skinny little kid, didn't cover what my skivies should have been. All the little kids in the large, old fashioned everybody-in-one-room ward, laughed and giggled at my naked hiney. I stayed in that bed holding my bladder until my mom showed up the next day with underwear. Upon receiving those undies, those blessed undies, I wiggled into them and flew from my bed to the bathroom door faster than greased lightning.

And all because of a trip to the dentist.

Scared of the dentist? "H-E-double hockey sticks", yeah... how 'bout you?

Thanks for putting my toothbrush holder in your blog."

David Willhite

Aisha said...

I like my dentist but I hate my orthodontist...apparently even after 4 years of braces (back in high school), I still have to get them again...for 2 I hate all orthodontists...back to eating everything with a fork :( about stick the teeth on the robot...Happy Birthday to Issac!

Carey Lynn said...

Great topic for a post! I had some fun on my blog with a series called Things to Do in the Dentist Chair---mind benders, etc.

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